A Journey to Self Love

Life is a pilgrimage we design to help us grow into the person we are meant to be. Along this journey there are many things to be learned. The biggest, simplest and most complicated lesson is Love.

A few weeks ago I was talking with Yeshoa about what this lifetime has in store for me. Being fully aware of the issues I’ve had since childhood and the direction I think I am traveling, I had an idea of where the conversation was going to go. We discussed a couple of things then we got around to self love.

Yeshoa said “Love Yourself More.”

I must admit that the request made sense. My soul number is an unbalanced two and this made me a doormat for decades. I grew up feeling invisible so putting my thoughts and feelings before anyone or anything else was a not likely to happen. I am working on it but the truth is I do still find myself setting aside what I want and how I feel to make sure someone else is happy. I am perfectly aware that it’s not honoring myself or my truth but like everyone else I am a work in progress. I grew up feeling invisible, I had no self-esteem, at all. Self love is not a lesson that can be learned quickly. It can take a lifetime, or many lifetimes, but it must be learned. If we don’t love and value ourselves, how are we ever going to love and value anyone else?

So how do we do learn to love ourselves?

I imagine the process is different for everyone but the first thing I had to learn is that we have to give ourselves permission to matter. For me that meant changing the way I saw myself. For most of my life I judged myself as less than, unworthy and found no value in my existence. So little, in fact, that suicide was something I tried more than once. Although I still struggle a little with my self-image I have come a very long and I am not that desperately sad person anymore. I’ve learned that until we fully understand that we are the only ones responsible for our happiness and give ourselves permission to matter, we will never have the courage to find our voice, speak our truth or be brave enough to take the reins of our personal power from whoever we have given it to.

The next thing I did was begin the process of accepting all of who I am. This isn’t an easy step by any stretch of the imagination. Society gives us very definite images of what beauty is and is not. Acceptance requires us to be vulnerable and willing to face the pain of our self judgment, then forgive ourselves for believing the lie that we aren’t enough. We are all more than enough! If we can’t forgive we can’t heal. The best way I’ve found is to be aware of what triggers me. When something does I ask myself why the incident or situation causes a negative reaction. I allow myself to feel it without judging, discover the cause, forgive and let it go. Letting go can be hard. We get so comfortable in our pain. It might be awful but it’s what we know and there is some amount of safety in it. Once we do begin to let go of what isn’t good for us, we feel so much better, lighter and whole.

The final thing for me was learning to brave. It takes practice and involves setting boundaries. This is something I am not very good at, yet, but the bravery part is coming along nicely. My journey to self love began during the ten years I lived in Michigan. Those years were spent drowning in pain so deep I couldn’t see the tiniest bit of hope. With the help of my son and my guides those years taught me that I am a worthwhile person. That I have a lot to offer and I am someone worth loving. I am much braver than I ever imagined I could be and it will only get better from here!

Blessed Be ❤ Sharon